The photo that captured me!

I am essentially a storyteller and not a photographer. Neither do I own a DSLR or for that matter any kind of fancy camera. I see the world through the 13 megapixels of my smart phone. I love travelling but I do not travel. It is partly because of the fact that I am a full time freelancer so my work is home based and also because of the fact that I cannot leave my mum alone and go out travelling. Having said all that, whenever I am out I try to take pictures of things, of people, of nature and yes, Selfies. People who know me tell me that I click decent pictures but I would not really go to tread that line as of now.

In my recent trip to a sea side (interestingly my first visit to a sea side) I realized a lot of things. Especially since it was early morning and I was there staring at the rising sun and the waves crashing at a distance, it made me ponder over life. I have to give it to the fact that I have been told by many people that their favourite place to visit is the sea side while I always countered that mountains were the best. Now that I had firsthand experience, I could tell them why I haven’t changed my take, why still mountains hold a special place in my heart.

You know, this is the first time I am writing it out for the world to see. That December morning when I was 2 glasses of fresh date palm juice down and watching the sun rise, I somehow was unable to calm myself. The inner turmoil was eating me. I missed mountains so much and the peace that the sight of snow brought me. I touched the water and suddenly it came into my mind how dangerous it can be. If you lose balance even a bit, you might drown. The waves come crashing and touch your feet and when you are standing on top of the sand and the waves go back, you feel that you are going down. It unsettles you and you need a lot of concentration there.

I was somehow not attracted towards the water. I saw people going in, taking a dip, coming out. I saw them fighting, have fun, enjoying. But I preferred sitting back on the rocks (nah! Not the drink) and enjoying the view. I couldn’t enjoy. The water, so vast and endless only reminded me of my life. The past, the present and to an extent the future. The coming forth and going back of the waves taking away a part of the coast with it reminded me how so many people come in our lives and go from our lives taking away a part of us with them.

I don’t get that part of me back from them; the coast doesn’t get that part of it back from the water either. That part of me will either forever be lost or be dumped somewhere else. Replacements would come but the emptiness would remain. A line of waves coming one by one to the shore almost as if racing their way. Just like us, racing our way to the finish line. What happens in both the races? The waves crash and they all meet at the coast to be one. In life, we all die and are one with the soil, with each other. The mountains help me solve my queries; the sea on the other hand told me that we are all going to die, no matter what. The mountains are the way, the sea being the destination.

There is a part of me now that would love to go back to the sea. But I am sure, this time if I ever go to the sea; it will be the day that I am out of options. I did nothing that day, rather than contemplating my life and clicking a few pictures mostly of myself and of people with me but only one special picture of the rising sun and the water. Today, if I look back to that picture I feel the same strange turmoil and realize that I hadn’t captured the photo, the photo had captured me. The photo doesn’t belong to me any longer, I belong to the photo. As I type this, I am listening to a song that motivates me to live on “Kehta ye pal, khud se nikal, Jeetey hai chal!”and attaching the picture here. I just hope that someone, someday stumbles upon this picture and expresses to me what the sea sings to them. 

Oh by the way, I'm not hydrophobic!

Love,

Vanya

PS- This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.